Emotions Run High
The Divine Eye: Seeing the Good in Everything and Everyone, March 24, 1995, Oasis Bookstore, Amherst, Massachusetts
I’m having a little problem. I’m in one of these model railroad clubs that I enjoy going to. And I get along with everybody there, you know. Except for this one gentleman, who comes in there, now and then. And I guess he just simply don’t like me. The first time I even came there he just don’t like me at all. And a couple weeks ago he told me he didn’t want me around there. Now, I just grabbed my stuff. Cause the other guys, I perfectly get along with fine; we were running our stuff and all. But, here we are; I just didn’t want to start an argument like saying, “Who the hell are you [that] you told me this?” and all that. And I want to go down in a couple months, like next month, later on. But I don’t know how to approach this.
Good. What gauge do you prefer?
HO.
Good, that is the best one. What is his gauge?
Well, last time I was at [train club] he had this narrow gauge. [Group laughs] It’s a narrow gauge, it is HO scale, but its—
Narrow gauge. Now, really emotions run high around model railroads. They do for several reasons. One is because the children inside the adults come forward then, very strongly. And it is a beautiful thing to be in touch with yourself in that way. But also, without a parent to oversee, it can become quite dangerous. But more importantly—
I just had the privilege to run something on there, and it just, like the first time it came around it got stuck, and I just wanted to get by him, and he gives me the third degree.
Yeah, well what happens actually is that, around model railroads, people get upset because railroad is building a dream, and they feel that their dream is threatened by other people. So, it is very vulnerable to be in model railroad societies.
Well, it is not even his. It is a group.
Yes.
The president I get along with fine.
Yes, it is him, yes. Yeah, well here is the solution we would suggest.
I want to get back in it, you know?
We think you should. We think you should not allow for a moment this unpleasant situation to keep you out the door. No, we think you should go right back into it, and pretend it never happened. That would be the best way to keep going and to stay happy.
I’m afraid he might get pissed off.
He very well might. He might, but you know, we want to tell you something, dear one. He is afraid of you a little bit. That is why he seems so angry. The reason he is afraid of you is not that important. It has nothing to do with really you. It is something in his mind. But he just suddenly looked and saw you, and he got afraid. And so, he reacted to you and was mean to you. We don’t think what he did was right at all. But we think that if you can stay on the other side of the layout from him, we think it will be fairly O.K. We don’t want you to not go. We want you to go and to enjoy yourself. That is the most important thing for you.
If something happens again, I don’t want to—
Yes, you don’t like to get into fights with people.
If I get into a fight or something I get really....
It gets you riled up. It is unpleasant, yeah.
Probably the ego.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is partly the ego. Yeah, but you know, if you always keep the layout between both of you, you won’t get into a fight.
The only thing is, there is only a table or a mountain dividing him and me, and he can see right over it.
Can you run your train into his?
My train goes right by him, and that is where it always gets stuck.
Yeah. Yes. Oh dear, oh dear.
I don’t want to be disrespectful. I’m going to talk to the president maybe in mid-April, just let it cool.
We think that is a very good idea, dear one. We endorse it completely. And we also, we really tell you: Don’t stay away because of this. Don’t let your enjoyment go down. Don’t think about him, and just enjoy what you’re doing. You deserve that pleasure, that happiness. You deserve it.
Well, how should I approach ... tell him?
Don’t talk to him. Don’t talk to him, unless he talks to you first.
And what should I say?
Just say, “Hello, it is nice to see you here. How are you doing?”
I’m not that type though.
We think that if you just smile at him, as we’ve said, he is a little afraid of you, so just smile at him, and he might calm down a little bit. That would really be good.
I’m a little afraid to do this, you know.
Yeah, of course you are. It is natural. It is a scary situation, but we want you not to avoid your own pleasure because of this unpleasant thing.
So, go back in April?
Yes, talk to the president. We’re very glad you asked this question. Everybody needed to hear that.
Another thing—
Well, we have to hear another question too, but thank you, and if we have some time we’ll check back.
Yes.