The Ego is Deflatable
Prema Graha with Eon May 20, 1995, at Munson Library, South Amherst, Massachusetts
I have a question.
How is your arm?
I think it’s healing.
Good. Good.
The question is about resistance to the full opening. The holding onto some part of the ego.
Yah. Well one thing is that it’s possible to phrase this question in such a way that you aren’t asking the true question. If you’re in the canal of life, and you’re clinging to the walls, as the flow is trying to propel you into the next zone, you’re definitely resisting. But many people ask the question of how to release the ego as though, if they could just do that, they would leave this whole canal. And actually, the ego is something that should be released in small portions, as you move through life in small portions.
Although it’s essential to release the ego for well-being, the ego is such a large thing that to try to tackle it all at once would be like trying to eat all the food you’re going to eat in life, right now. Yeah, you must eat it small portions at a time, called meals. And the ego must also be released, small portions at a time, called painful, humiliating, embarrassing moments.
Those are the signs that ego is being bruised and traumatized, and you actually want to provoke. Now, don’t intentionally embarrass yourself, but moments of embarrassment point out to you that your ego has just been attacked, and that it is wounded, and that you want to enjoy that moment. The more you enjoy humiliation, embarrassment, and not shame, because shame is a negative thought form. But embarrassment and humiliation are positive.
Humiliation is positive because it’s actually humility. It’s a state of being in a humility-state, passing into humility. And embarrassment is helpful because you notice, you feel yourself when you are embarrassed, very strongly. You don’t feel invisible. You want to be invisible, but you feel very visible. And so, both of these are very helpful because the ego is tremendously confused at moments like that.
The ego wants to be invisible, wants you to be invisible, and fade into the crowd, and not really make a stink about anything. And so, when you’re embarrassed and you’re very visible, the ego is not happy. And when you’re humiliated, it hurts the part of the ego that’s always right, because you’ve been shown to have been wrong about something.
So, if you are driving down the road too fast and you are pulled over by the police, it’s humiliating and embarrassing. And that’s a very good time to say, “What a moment! I was so wrong to be breaking the law. What a moment! I have been caught, yeah. I am getting the results of my actions, and I’m not letting a moment of this pass by unnoticed!” That tends to cause the ego to shrink.
The ego is deflatable, the way your aura is deflatable. But the ego— it’s a good thing to deflate. It gets punctured at moments like that. Now, as we said, don’t provoke them, because provoking anything is an ego act. So, the ego— you can’t use your ego to deflate the ego because that will always prevent a true deflation.